Let’s meet the celebrities…
Ok Big Brother fans, below is a list of the celebrities who are going to keep us entertained for the next few weeks.
Let’s hope this lot are as controversial as our least favourite big brother celebrities, Jade, Danielle & Jo (not my Jo but the annoying man faced Jo who was once in some cheesy pop group)
And the first celeb to enter the house is….
La Toya Jackson. A reasonably famous housemate, related to the crazy Jackson family. She obviously did not watch her brother (Germain Jackson) during his time in the celebrity big brother house. She is the 5th child in the Jackson family and cannot live without bottled water, paper towels and tissues? The strangest thing about her (apart from her face) is the fact she hates white food, surely all the coloured food is going to take some real offense to her food racism remarks. We liked the way she put her bag straight down in the private bedroom, but the question is how did she know where is was?
Oooh look another celebrity…
Mutya Buena. She reached her fame by being part of the most changeable girl band in living memory. She is also reasonably famous following 3 UK number 1 hits. She likes to think she is laid back and bitchy all at the same time. Judging by the crowd she is a bit more popular than La Toya. She feels naked without her nails on? How the hell does that work? It has to be said that she is looking rather chunky these days and entered the house wearing something that would make Bet Lynch proud. Some of her first words upon entering the house were “What the fuck am I doing?”
And now introducing…
Verne Troyer. A real A-List celebrity….. apparently. He played a rather muted short person in the Austin Powers films and took his place as the most famous little person. He still thinks that he is playing the Mini Me character with all his talk of “evil plans”. He collects skulls and wants to prove that he isn’t a womanising scumbag which apparently we all think he is??? For someone who doesn’t like the paparazzi, he certainly lapped up the attention walking down the red carpet. His voice is going to get very annoying very quickly. I originally thought his voice was altered to make it sound that high pitched. Jo just gave the little man an “awwww” when he had to drag his own bag into the house. I feel no pity for him nor should anyone else, he is an able bodied human just like me and should know how to carry his own bags. There are other short people who can cope quite well without assistance, he knew what he was getting into before entering the house. I’m guessing he will win because he has the pity factor!
And another…
Tommy Sheridan. A politician not a celebrity, how on earth do they make that connection? Apparently he rose to fame during the poll tax farce!!! He is a feisty Scottish Politician who was elected to Scottish Council from his prison cell, now that’s something to be proud of. The crowd really don’t like this character they are shouting all sorts of lovely things to him. He likes the sunbed (three per week) and is great friends with George Gallaway, I hate him already. He reminds me of an ITV drama bad guy.
Its raining celebrities….
Lucy Pinder. Not really a celebrity more of a masturbatory aid for adolescent males up and down the country. By her own admission she is famous for her boobs, it’s funny how me or Jo have absolutely no idea who she is? She attacked Jordan, describing her as being “blonde haired, orange and stupid”. You can’t really call someone worth millions stupid considering she did it all by herself. I so want this girl to fall flat on her face. She says she hates attention seekers, so what is getting your tits out in a national newspaper if it isn’t seeking attention? Her webshite gets an amazing 25million hits per month, which really shows how many wankers there are in this world.
Swiftly followed by…
Ben Adams. His claim to fame was that he was a member of A1 the band that were so unsure of themselves they named the group in such a way that they would always appear at the top of alphabetical lists. He talks of taking advantage of the fact 7-13 year olds threw themselves at him? Just remember he hates arrogant people, because most people who appear on BB and say that will always turn out to be self obsessed assholes. The crowd didn’t seem too bothered by him and there was a mixture of cheers and boo’s.
Here comes…
Tina Malone. Tina shot to fame (well sort of) by appearing as the pikey mother in the cult series Shameless, some might also recognise her from the well missed soap Brookside. She describes herself as Tony Soprano in a frock, she claims to be a middled aged fat, bi-polar, OCD scouse woman. She likes to swear and bite her toenails, hopefully at the same time because that is something I would like to see. So far she is our favourite due to the fact she is quite down to earth and hopefully will give some of the others a slap if they step out of line
Now its time for….
Coolio. An aging poppy rap star, who made his name with the all time classic “Gangsters Paradise”. He lost all respect as a rapper when he affiliated himself with the nickelodeon stars Keenan and Kel. He has a sketchy past and is still living the gangster pimp life so he will be a very interesting character to watch. The crowd do seem to like him, yet the mask on the back of his head might have swung some of that support in the other direction. For some reason the crowd were barking at him, maybe its a gangster thang! Straight away he reminds me of a black Darnell, whooohoooo!
Next up…
Michelle Heaton. Was given the status of celebrity after losing to Hearsay in some pop factor type show. Liberty X took some time to take off and it was “Just a little bit” that shot the band into the lime light. She seems quite likable and might just take some of the shine away from Lucy Pinta 
. A mixed reaction from the crowd, and apparently she is good friends with Jordan so it might be fun when mixed with Pinda. Her favourite food is Nandos, pizza and curry, sounds like a great night out!!!
Here comes….
Terry Christian. Was once a minor celeb who made his name presenting that crazy late night comedown program “The Word”. Apart from that I have no idea what he has done since that program finished? He was a great presenter back then and I’m hoping he hasn’t changed much, during his interview he comes across as very down to earth and pretty funny. Why the crowd gave him so much grief is beyond me, he gave the best interview yet. He also dislikes stuck up people and is about to enter the house with the above mentioned stuck up types.
They’re still coming…
Ulrika Jonsson. This beer swilling weather girl turned comedy punchbag is a welcome entity into the female ranks of the bb house. We already know she can be slutty, funny, rude and downright annoying. Another of her many claims to fame were to be raped by John Lesley, and beaten by Stan Collymore. How contrived any of this was nobody really knows, I’m no psychologist but Im sure going to the police would have been a better way to deal with these things rather than writing about it in a book.
Well that’s it now let’s enjoy the maddness!
big brother, Celebrity Big Brother 09
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